7/2/15

Diggy,

I stayed off my phone for the entire day. I was not in a good place when I woke up. I had 13 text messages from friends and family about where you're at. Every time I leave the house to walk, neighbors pop out their windows to say "haven't you had that baby yet?!" Even the guys painting the house next door are shocked to see me still pregnant.

And frankly, I just didn't want to talk to anyone abut it today. So I helped your Aunt Kiki with wedding planning all morning (which made me feel very helpful and productive). Then I had acupuncture and then Kiki and Uncle Andrew stayed for dinner in case you came out this evening. 

So here's the deal. Tomorrow we start tests at the hospital to make sure you're alright. And tomorrow is the day we pull out all the stops, every natural way to get you heading into our arms. But like Daddy and I told you this afternoon, you can only choose your birthday to a point. And then we need to choose it for you.

So let's hope this is your last night in utero. We gotta get a move on, kiddo. 

Love,

Mama

6/30/15

Mr. Diggs-

As your mama, I just want to thank you for being such a fun surprise so far. A JULY birthday!?! You stinker! We never would have guessed.

And tomorrow I get to try out acupuncture and I'm so looking forward to having someone take care of me and my body in that way. What an exciting way to end this pregnancy. Thanks for the surprises, little one. You are already a sweet, empowering gift who is keeping us on our toes.

Love,

Mama

6/29/15

Dear Little D,

Since your brother is at daycare today I took a walk this morning and am now sitting with a mug of coffee and some inspirational books. (This, in perhaps one scene, describes your mama when she's happiest...)

I've got this workbook open right now; I got it at Oprah's conference in the fall and one of the pages says this:

"Close your eyes. Picture someone you love. See their face. What do you wish for them?"

When I filled it out in November I was thinking of your brother. I wrote a bunch of things, including: "bravery, the ability to be himself, a giant yard, a private airplane, as much cheese as he wants, a puppy, acceptance..."

Oprah's trick was that she told you later that YOU actually want whatever you wished for your loved one but would never have been as generous with yourself. True, especially the part about all that cheese. :)

This morning when I reread this page I thought of you even though I don't actually know your face yet. And while I still wish all these things for you, the one thing that kept coming to mind was the ability to embrace and lean into change.

Daddy and I talked this morning about how it looks like self-driving cars will be here and regular within 10-20 years which means that you may never need a license. Lord knows what else will be different for your world... and since I talk to so many humans, I will tell you that lots and lots of humans don't like change. They HATE it! They cry and resist and get bent out of shape and should pay for therapy but don't so they take it out on their spouses or the amount of cookies they eat or the way they angrily drive cars. 

But! The only consistent thing about life is that everything changes. Everything! So if I could grant you the superpower to embrace and lean into change, I really think it's the only thing you need. 

I am a lit major at heart. I love my paper books and the smell of old paper and generally I love learning about history. But I am eternally grateful for having fallen sideways into the tech industry because it has made me so much more curious and accepting of change. Software changes all the time. So do humans. I love the metaphors that come from this and I am grateful for having married Daddy, who has always been fascinated by what COULD be rather than what WAS. 

Change, buddy. It's the feature that I hope you are born with, the ability to adapt and move with the times, regardless of what's presented to you. There is plenty of space to love where you've come from and also where you're going... and I hope you can see and embrace it all.

Love,

Mama

6/28/15

Little D,

Your feet are poking me higher and more to my side than ever before. I believe this means you're ready for 3T clothes. I'll try to prep some for your newborn state... maybe you can share diapers with your older brother. If you're taller than him, you can just take the toddler bed and we'll make him get back in the crib.

Church didn't work today. Tomorrow I'm calling about acupuncture. You little devil, you!

Love,

Mama

6/27/15

Diggs-

Nothing to say other than: let's go. 

Also, if you have plans to live on your parents' couch for your life, we need to have a long talk when you get here.

Also, if you are still in utero tomorrow morning, I am taking you to church. Maybe a higher power can get you moving.

Love,

Mama

6/26/15

Diggy-doo,

Today is a great day to be alive. This morning the Supreme Court ruled that gay people can be married. I love that you will grow up and think "... what was the BIG deal?!" but trust me when I say this was definitely not something obvious in our world. Lots of people get very finnicky about who should be allowed to do what. This is a great day for freedom!

It has also been a great week or so, seeing people take steps towards removing the confederate flag (which comes from the times of SLAVERY! I know.) and okaying healthcare for all Americans. Unless you are waiting to come out until gun control gets passed, however, I'm not sure you're going to enter into a more joyous society! ;)

So, my point is, come on out. There's a lot of love in the air today and you will grow up allowed to genuinely look for love, no matter who it comes from.

Love,

Mama

6/25/15

Diggs,

I truly can't believe we're going to make it to your due date. But here we are, mere hours away from June 26. 

Today was fantastic. We spent the morning out to breakfast with Aunt Kiki (Daddy and Noah too), then hanging out in her backyard and garden. The weather is gorgeous - sunny but not too hot - and we had such a good time watching Noah water the tons of different vegetables out back. It put me in a great mood and even Daddy commented this afternoon that I had more energy than I've had in a while! No nap, even. 

Maybe we'll see you tomorrow? 

Love,

Mama