6/23/15

Hey buddy,

This morning we launched a new version of Mama's work website. Daddy has been coding it for the past couple of weeks and it came out so beautiful. We'll have lots of time to talk about what Mama does and why it matters to our family, but please know and remember that figuring out what you're here to do on the planet is a VERY powerful thing!

In many ways you are being born to a different set of parents than your brother was. I stand up for myself more now, I try not to look for perfection in things, I thank people as much as I can and I am grateful daily for the fortitude to live this life as a mama and a worker. I didn't have that perspective last time and it was all pretty overwhelming to sift through. But at the end of the day, I believe you can't save anyone but yourself. (Ok, maybe your young kiddos too!)

Ultimately though, I contribute to my community by being there when I can and giving what I can, and that includes my clients. But I make sure to reserve enough gas in the tank for my family- you and Noah and Daddy. I love the family that we are building and find it so empowering to guide your brother through life and support Daddy too. 

I hope you get to experience this kind of love one day too, however it shows up!

Love,

Mama

6/22/15

Heya LD,

I was thinking about my great aunt Jean today for some reason. She was born in Pennsylvania and has German ancestors but she married a Greek-American man and by the time I knew her, she seemed to have grown up in Greece. When we would visit her house she'd have made Greek food for us. Her husband passed away when I was a kid, something that really devastated her. She never seemed to have worked herself back from the grief.

I come from German ancestors too but I've had the experience of living in France and learning to speak the French language. Although it's very rare to have the chance to speak it these days, I do consider myself a teeny bit French. For a while I thought I might marry a Frenchman and raise my kids over there. They have an awesome system for nurseries and daycares and I remember thinking that their society was wonderful for kids to grow up in.

I say all of this because you're going to be born into heritage but you will also have the chance to find your own. It might come through something you study or someone you love. You might find yourself drawn to a city or country for no good reason other than your heart feels bigger when you're there. If this happens, let's talk about it! I would love to sit around the kitchen table and hear about what makes your heart feel big. And then I would love to visit that place because I think it will help me understand you better by just seeing what you love or reading something you love. What I'm saying is, don't be afraid to share what you love with your mama. 

I can't wait to get to know you and discover what you love along the course of your life.

Love,

Your Mama

6/21/15

Hey LD,

This afternoon while your brother napped, Daddy ended up laughing at me. I had walked by Oscar and asked how he was doing... "Just checking in on the cats, are you?" Daddy laughed. We both cracked up as I admitted that the plants have never been as watered, my teeth as flossed and that I haven't napped this much since I was a kid. I read a 400 page book between last night and this afternoon. 

This kind of free time is foreign to both of us, Diggs.

"What the heck will we do when we retire?!" I thought for a few minutes but you know, it's less about how to fill free time right now for me and more about how to fill free time with a super-limited body! This has renewed my belief that I want to be in strong shape for the rest of my life after you're born. The physical limitations are just insanely frustrating and while I have rolled with them as best possible during pregnancy (since I know there's an end!) I am not interested in neglecting my body in the least after this.

For a few hours tonight I thought you were on your way but we laid down to bed and you seem to have gone quiet for the night too. We had a wonderful day celebrating Daddy today (very low-key!) and will rest up tonight in case you're on your way tomorrow.

Love,

Your Mama

6/20/15

Hey Little D,

Daddy and I were driving yesterday and commenting on how beautiful June in Berkeley is compare to May. (May is chilly and a bit foggy but June is just.. well, it's perfect!)

It made me excited to think about the birthday parties we will plan for you, how we'll love being outside enjoying the not-too-hot sun. People say this region doesn't have seasons and I was inclined to believe that for our whole first year here but now I see that there *are* seasons, they are just a different vocabulary than the four we normally talk about. 

Daddy and I were at the movies yesterday afternoon and it was filled with a bunch of little kids. "Why aren't these kids in school?!?" I wondered... and then it dawned on me that maybe kids in California are already on summer vacation! In New York we went to school til nearly the end of June... how strange to see it end so early in other places. It was another funny moment to think about how time of year and related activities depend on where the heck you are on the planet!

This weekend we don't have anything officially planned. Tomorrow is Father's Day but since we are waiting for you we will play it by ear and just give Daddy a few presents instead of an outing. That could be a fun surprise if you made your arrival on that day... You are being born to one of the best dads I've ever known and it does seem super sweet to me to imagine giving Daddy his new son as a gift!

Love,

Mama

6/18/15

Hey Little D,

Well I'm all done with work now! Yesterday was my last day and we celebrated last night with pizza and wine (oooh, that rose wine was good after 9 months of nothing!). Kiki and Andrew came over and we had a good time eating and then playing games after your brother went to bed.

So now you've got two parents who are home full time... come out when you're ready!

Love,

Mama

6/16/15

Hi Diggs,

Daddy and I watched a movie called Big Hero 6 tonight and the characters were going to college in the future. The long story short is that they were all making these amazing robots and science projects and it actually got me so excited for the future! I told Daddy that maybe you or Noah will work on robots one day in college and I could catch a glimpse

of how different it will be to remember my childhood as the world keeps evolving. (Of course, your lit major mom also gives you tons of leeway to become a French poet too in college, whatevs).

But really, the world today is so different than when I was a kiddo... and I am only 34 years old! I can only imagine what my Nana thought when she passed away in her 90s. When I recently read a book on the Wright brothers I kept thinking about how AIRPLANES were barely invented when she was born and how commonplace they are in our lives today.

I like thinking about this stuff. Let's talk about the world and how it's changing all along our lives, ok?

Love,

Mama

6/15/15

LD,

This afternoon as we were driving back from our midwife appointment, Daddy and I passed two little boys walking with their babysitter on the sidewalk. 

"I'm so excited to have two boys!" Daddy said and I instantly agreed with him. I couldn't imagine it any other way.

Love,

Mama