4/9/15

Hey LD,

Aunt Kiki pointed out tonight at dinner that soon I'll be able to use the carpool lane with you and Noah in the car! SCORE! We are going to get so quickly into San Francisco, it will be like living the dream. (Because, frankly, without the carpool lane, driving in and out of that city is a nightmare.) 

This morning Noah and I went to the de Young museum to take a look at some art. It was an awesome time. A friend joked that Noah is going to grow up highly sophisticated because of trips like these and we had a good laugh. It's probably true that you guys are going to be exposed to more worldly things than I was at that young age, but you know what? The world is smaller these days. We're all on the Internet and lots of people in my generation studied abroad and going to an art museum doesn't seem as exotic as it did when I was a kid. :)

I am clearly just expecting you to study abroad on the moon or go live on Mars (ugh, my greatest fears and Daddy's greatest dreams!). The world sure is a different place from one generation to the next.

Love,

Mama

4/7/15

Hi Little D,

The only thing I want to tell you tonight is that who you spend your time with matters! For your whole life, I hope you optimize your time so that you're around positive, hopeful and inspiring people instead of those who you feel you owe something. (Social rules be damned!) We are the only ones who can allow others into our headspaces... so choose the best people possible and spend the most time with them you can.

This also goes for what you read, what you tweet, anything you spend your time on. It will slowly make you who you are... so always look for the best and be strict about it. I rarely read the news and consume a tiny percent of what's going around social media because it's so dramatic and awful. One of the last things I do at night is to spend time listing out things I'm grateful for and reading inspiring stories on Reddit. You can't have bad dreams after that! (Or, at least, they are few and far between!)

Look out for yourself. I'll always support you in this.

Love,

Mama

4/5/15

LD-

I've had a bad cough for over a week now. Truthfully, we all have. But the past few days have been rough because my abs are so sore from coughing. My abs! The ones that are kinda worn out from carrying you too.

You have also been MUCH more active than usual over the past few days, constantly rolling and kicking and prodding. And now I wonder if you're reacting to the constant shaking that my abs are doing to you... what does it feel like for your cocoon in the world to be shaken like a snowglobe every few minutes without stop?

We had a lovely long Easter lunch with our friends and Kiki today. One of the topics that we talked through many times was this process of becoming an adult, a relentless discovery of More Stuff You Are In Charge Of. It's exhausting, frankly. Whether it's wedding planning or having young children or figuring out your life career, it's all got big stakes and it's all stressful. 

Sometimes, depending on how tired you are, I think it can feel like you're living in a cocoon that's being shaken like a snowglobe every few minutes. There is no rest for the weary, one thing after the next, an endless list of life challenges.

And yet. The glimmer of hope and beauty that I also have come to find in the world is everything little and joyful between the shakes. It's watching for those moments, it's appreciating them. It's taking life into your own hands and just living the heck out of it. 

So maybe instead of feeling shaken, you are surfing? Maybe whenever I cough you respond by disco dancing up a storm. I hope you are, little one. These skills will serve you so well once you're out... to look for the waves in the storm and ride them. Forget the perfect. Ignore what you always thought life would be. Just stay in touch with the waves around you and enjoy them as much as you can.

Love,

Your Mama

4/4/15

Hi little D,

Tomorrow is Easter Sunday! We are hosting brunch for Aunt Kiki and some friends from out of town... and tonight I bought a big Easter egg cake from the grocery store! I can't wait to eat that cake.

Daddy asked me at dinner what my family used to do for Easter while I was growing up. I told him that we usually visited relatives and went to church, did egg hunts, dyed eggs and the like. Much of what we do in our little family mimics what I did growing up... and by next Easter I hope to have a church to go to as well. That's one piece of our community that hasn't come together yet, but I'm hopeful that I'll find a place that feels genuine and supportive of the way I see the world (and how I want to raise my boys too). Daddy is less inclined towards church but maybe he'll tag along every so often. 

You know, one of the most interesting things about becoming a parent is making choices about traditions. There's a sense of pressure behind it because whatever we do, you'll grow up to know as "the way one celebrates Easter" or Christmas or whatever. I hope that you'll remember holidays as times we got together with people we love, celebrated with good food, did some arts and crafts and read books about the holiday we're celebrating. 

And ate cake. I think we can make that a tradition, no matter where we are and who we're with.

Love,

Mama

4/3/15

Hello little Diggy-Dig,

Names! Daddy and I are thinking about your name a lot lately. We've got your first name pretty nailed down but are brainstorming a middle name these days. 

I always loved the idea of connecting you to my side of the family via your middle name. Since you get Daddy's last name, it seems only fair that one of you kiddos get something from my family tree. But this is proving harder than anticipated since your first name isn't matching well with some of the contenders I'd always thought could work.

We are also considering a middle name that uses one of my initials (since your brother got Daddy's middle name wholesale). And I have been watching so many historical documentaries that you're lucky if you escape without Washington or Liberty Bell for a middle name!

Your Nana and Pop-Pop used to be really interested in genealogy and they did lots of research about both sides of my family before I was born. I remember flipping through the family tree and copies of birth certificates along the way, seeing how names connected one branch to the next generation. I guess I've always liked the story that was told on paper, without any interviews or journals we could see how the family gifted their legacy to new babies as they joined the family. It's what I have in mind when I think about your middle name, a way to connect you with your past in the simplest way I can. We'll see what we end up with... I suppose we can always go with "Oprah" in a pinch! 

Love,

Mama

4/2/15

Hey Little D,

When your brother was only a few days old, he lost weight - a decent amount of weight. And it really scared me and Daddy. We consulted with a lactation specialist who really turned the tide for us and it was through that scare and the support group I joined that I made my mom friends in Brooklyn. I really don't know what I would have done without having those women to text at 3am, laugh with, whittle our maternity leaves away with and encourage through the bizarre business of becoming a family of three.

But along the way we also met ANOTHER superstar, a woman who writes songs and teaches music classes for babies and their parents. We hosted one in our tiny Brooklyn apartment and for a couple months our friends met weekly at our place with their babies. Her music got us through that first period and I tear up just hearing some of it even today.

Well she happened to be on tour across the bay today! So Noah and I got ourselves to the library where she did a concert and it made me so excited to

sing the songs for you, too. There's a good one about a bike ride, a galloping horse, and a great one about Sundays and having your mommy and daddy all day long.

You'll be even luckier because you'll have a big brother to do a bunch of the singing too! He is chomping at the bit to meet you these days. 

Love,

Mama

4/1/15

Hey Diggy,

Daddy and I finished watching House of Cards tonight (season 3- the finale is a shocker!) and I immediately started googling to find out when season 4 will be ready. Though they haven't even announced anything yet, we're guessing about a year. YOU ARE GOING TO BE A TOTAL PERSON BY THEN! Isn't that crazy to think about? 

I saw some pictures of a friend on vacation in Hawaii earlier today and it made me think about the first time we might be able to consider such a trip. It feels far away, but then again maybe not. We escaped the frigid NYC winter when your brother was about 5 months old. Maybe we can take a similar trip with you over the holidays. We'd have two little fishies to swim with this time around- you AND Noah!

Love,

Mama